And after the end of the world……….life went on, because the end did not begin.
Claire Fuller’s first novel, the brilliantly titled, teasingly contradictory Our Endless Numbered Days, is a strange, disturbing, beautifully written book about dark family dynamics, the wonder and magic of childhood, deep fears, obsession, staying alive, the end of the world, all tied up with the enduring power of childhood fairy stories, and their dark symbolism
The book takes place over a 9 year time period. It opens in Highgate, London, in 1985. Peggy is 17. She has returned to her family home after a 9 year absence, disturbed and traumatised after being inexplicably missing, kidnapped by her father, when she was 8.
Back in 1976 Peggy was the beloved only daughter of a wealthy, apparently happily married couple, though both, in their own way, were rather self-obsessed. German mother Ute was an internationally lauded classical pianist, who has rather slipped into domesticity following her cradle snatching marriage to James. At 17, James was 8 years Ute’s junior.
Liszt’s Campanella plays its part in the story……
Despite the hazy gloss which the returned Peggy remembers, of the summer of 1976, there were definite cracks and oddities in her parents’ marriage. James had become a member of a group of Retreaters, survivalists preparing for a some-time imminent end of the world, `after the bomb falls’, by retreating far from civilisation, finding remote pockets in the countryside, learning again how to fish, hunt, gather. The group is led by a mysterious American.
Peggy, who is obsessed by the book The Railway Children, is nicknamed Punzel (as in Rapunzel) by her father. And, yes, all the symbolism and allegories are there a-waiting.
In the summer of 1976 Ute departs for a concert tour. Left in the care of James, father and daughter appear to have a kind of idyllic summer (in the child’s imagination) as they begin to act out the end of the world retreat in the jungly back garden of their Highgate mansion, which merges in the undergrowth, with the cemetery. They live under canvas, don’t wash, and eat squirrels and rabbits which James traps.
This, to Peggy/Punzel is all an enormous adventure, much more exciting than school and the discipline her mother imposes. And then the adventure gets even more exciting and wilder. James and Peggy leave the country, en route to Die Hutte, a mysterious hut deep in the probably Bavarian forest:
`A magical, secret place in the forest’ my father said with a catch in his voice. `Our very own little cabin, with wooden walls, and wooden floors, and wooden shutters at the windows.’
His voice was deep and smooth; it lulled me.
`Outside we can pick sweet berries all year round; chanterelles spread like yellow rugs under the trees; and in the bottom of a valley a Fluss overflows with silvery fish, so when we’re hungry and need supper, we can just dip our hands in and pull three out’.
The Hutte is a real place, marked on a map, and Peggy is excited, as she expects they will meet Ute there.
However, excitement and strangeness soon turn very dark indeed, as once far from civilisation, James tells Peggy that the world has indeed ended, and the two of them are the only survivors.
Except, clearly, it hasn’t, and they aren’t. None of this is a spoiler, as we know, from the opening chapter, that Peggy is now 17 and has only returned from that hut in the forest two months ago. Peggy is forced to be an unreliable narrator because her father, who has created this narrative for her to inhabit for her endless numbered 9 years of days, has made a lie the reality by which the two have lived
An eight year old, and her father, in a dark, Grimm’s fairy tale forest, the only beings left alive, somehow having to survive the freezing winters. What happens to a child with no other human contact except one other being – no other world view except her own, as told to her by the other human?
A forest, too can be as inaccessible a prison as a tower. Not to mention the roles of various forests in other fairy tales.
Fuller’s dark, frightening book employs nothing of the supernatural – there are no tricks of external fantasy, but certainly the reader will be aware of the dark psychological undercurrents which the fairy tale is constructed to explain.
It’s a dark and twisted tale, but also has a strange beauty. There’s a kind of seductive dream in the Walden-like idea of that life in the forest, a kind of honest simplicity of living within the landscape, learning its ways. Though nothing in this book is simple, and its whole premise is fashioned on a lie a father has created for his child.
And thanks to fellow blogger, FleurInHerWorld, whose intriguing review of this excellent book alerted me to its existence
Our Endless Numbered Days Amazon UK
Our Endless Numbered Days Amazon USA
Lady Fancifull 
love this review and the very nice extra touches… good design
Thank you Fictionquest.
Goodness, I’m late getting here – what a day! Tennis, tennis, blog, blog, shop, shop, cats, cats, phones, phones – I was terrified your little Gif would have worn out before I made it here! What a relief!
Anyway… the book sounds intriguing. I remember the summer of 1976 – it was the heatwave year, wasn’t it? And I remember a friend of my sister who kept a survival kit in the boot of his car at all times complete with cases of canned food – just in case! I might – might! – investigate this one further…
PS Enjoyed the music too. 🙂
I think you might like this one. There are….various layers and surprises and on finishing the book you realise Fuller has dropped her clues for you carefully, so that revelations don’t have you feeling cheated
Oh dear. Oh dear. That’s quite a creepy iguana you’ve got bobby there in the tree. I was almost mesmerized. I may have to put this one on my TBR pile. It does sound as creepy as that iguana and well written. Must escape the iguana….
It’s waiting for the mythical king
….( cue Dory Previn)
P.S. Make space on that pile – you know you want to – it’s not very big
I never spotted the iguana first time round! I’ve read Fleur’s review, and yours, so I’m definitely moving it up the TBR pile!
Well, curiously, crimeworm – NEITHER DID I !!!! (despite the fact that I watched that gif several times during selection, construction of post, previewing, tweaking again, more previewing, spotting more typos, more previewing etc etc.
Hats (colour coordinated in forest green) off to the eagle eyed, observant Jilanne. She must be a writer or something, paying attention that closely.
I just thought it was another leaf. (could it therefore be a chameleon) My searches had been restricted to forests, dark forests, Black Forest (not including gateau!) and the like, but now I’m even more pleased with it as it kind of goes along with several strands in the book, so makes me appear a particularly astute reviewer, planting subliminal visuals. Sometimes accidental synchronicities happen, and this is one.
But………yes, …push……Push…..PUSH up the pile!
They are meant to blend in aren’t they so Jilanne would obviously be top iguana hunter. Of us all. By FAR!
Or even the David Attenborough of lizard world, creeping close enough to observe in detail and write a learned paper on camouflage. I have visions of her painstakingly clipping different coloured pieces of paper over adjacent leaves, and waiting for colour change. Or, as you suggest, she might just get very hungry and go for lizard fry-up with her own grown from seed potatoes (it being the end of the world and food being only grow your own, pick your own or bring down your own)
Such a thoughtful review of a novel that sounds really intriguing. Also, excellent gif work 🙂 I completely missed the iguana until I read the comments and looked again!
Yes – I’m really, really impressed with Jilanne’s sharp and detailed eye.
Anyway, it’s a book well worth reading – I think it’s up for a short list (a 1 in 3 chance) for a Debut Novel award. It’s one which has popped in and out of my head a few times, since I read it – which was rather longer ago than the posting of this scheduled review
And music…
It sounds interesting. Dark, but interesting. I am a fan of dark, but only until a certain point.
Well, this is dark but Fuller doesn’t do lingering and living violence – no splattered dismemberments. Though you must remember food will need to be got. No cling film wrapped pieces of pink stuff deep in the forest.
There is enough violence in the Forest as it is. One of my feral cats was dismembered by three neglected pit bulls who were starving. I caught them in the act and called animal control. In the end of the day, the hungry dogs paid the ultimate price.
However, I do not even have any cling wrap.
Oh I’m so sorry you lost a cat this awful way Susan
I will admit that it still haunts me to a degree. I believe that he died a noble death because it appeared to me that he drew the dogs away from the rest of the cats. I ran after those dogs looking like I had just exited from the door of Hell and three large pit bulls took off without a second glance. Then I went and sat by the cat and talked to him until he passed.
Oh Susan!
Thank you. There are new kittens, and that helps.
Horrible, Susan, I’m so sorry. I know people say “it’s the owners and how they bring them up” but the problem is those who aspire to own these kinds of dogs! I’m sure some of the dogs are perfectly nice but I can’t bear them. It must have been very traumatic.
Thank you. It is more the people who don’t train them properly. Maybe the owners of the dogs need to be trained. This has always been a place where fugitives hide out and outlaws lie low, so no one dares meddle.
This one’s already on my list; I’m looking forward to it even more after your review. An interesting weaving of themes: survival story, fairy tale resonances, dark twists, beautiful telling – this pulls me in. Thanks for your review.
You are most welcome, it is indeed an unsettling one, in a good way